Asshole as a word sworn in many differant languages at the same time sounds amazing
End of smiles
trust left along time ago
always a fight
baby constantly crying
separated by 4 officers
no going back
She says you were always enough
unable to surrender
Yelling does not help
She is gone
she leaves and you are alone
Slumping on the bench
head begining to explode
liquid dripping from one nostril
waves of nausea
ARE YOU OK?
cant move my head
WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?
OK IM CALLING AN AMBULANCE
Like Uptown streets on a thrusday night
Lost souls walking around in circles
Waiting for thier ticket to come in
Methadone Junkies scrounging for some doughnuts
Cops rousing some poor kids on thier cars
all to common on the streets of Uptown
A tall neo classical twennties high rise office building
With a classic bank in it
Shot a couple of seconds of Public Enemies in it
the shuttered 100 bed Shelter that was to give way to condos
8 years ago
Still are the habitatly challenged denzins of the street
the suicide room SROS still
havent figured where to move them to
Public Housing residents no problem
SRO hotels Where are you going to put them?
Have figured away to scrape that residual element of humanity from Uptown
theres always hope in Uptown
Be it the Needle exchange people with thier clean needles
Or in the family that continues to live in the neighborhood
there always Hope in Uptown
When I first saw her picture I was struck.
Her eyes Hazel Lazer beams
I went back over her site entry
Read her story
I was smitten
I didn’t think I had a shot with her
Having said that, you got to go for it
So I looked at other pages
There were some pretty ones
When I wound up going to the websites office
They told me I could meet her
I was really nervous
Like it was the first time
When I saw her I just saw alot of energy
it was hard to follow the leash
When I sat down on the bench she acted like I wasn’t there
She was on the sniff
Must have been sent overload
She was the one
I went home thought about it overnight
Went the next day a winter grey saturday morning
She threw up in the car
Which is how she rolls
Never has she not thrown up
I brought her home
A dark spring night
warm steady rain
looking up from under the brim of my fedora I watch the rain dance through the street light yellow rays
walking through puddles
no way to be avoided
The city is differant during a rain
the timid disappear
Walking out of the darkness
as you walk through the white light from apartments you walk past
Black and gold
in the rain at night in the city its black and gold light
like a thousand rain drops reflecting a dieing street light
breeze misting warm rain in your face
alley divided by golden rivers
The idea of an umbrella repulsive to me
want to be covered in the rain
want it to wash over me
don’t want the rain to stop
stress stress stress
He saw her in the hall for a brief moment.
But for that brief moment he remmembered how amazing she was.
Her voice the sweetest song
That weakness is back
Than you remeber when you asked for respect it ended.
When I asked for a portion of what I gave it became akward
I feel the waves hitting the lake, the wind blowing and I remember the Lake
At home with the same ghost. I tried to get out, and the ghost pulled me back in. The ghost had me in her spell for many years. I have to reconnect with my fest self. I reckon I may be a little batty from the last two weeks. I lost one and I am watching another one go slowly.
So maybe I am set back a little by the death and the death. I have to remember I am greiving for my friends. Peoples whose house I visited, regularly. People who we lived the troubles, heartbreaks, joys, and freedom. My members primarily come from the mentally ill class. What you say is that? Its a population in our towns and cities, that is often ttimes insulted or hated, the mentally ill class. They are forced to Survive on a level that would be crime if not for there status in society. I see it in practice everyday. Struggling with a monster buerocracy to get the basic mimmimum of substenance. Where the only options is to get the cheapest poorest for you food.
So yeah maybe Im not in the party spirit. I couldn’t fake it. It is so difficult to think of these two people and not be sad. They were two characters that I was so fortuneate to spend time with.
Zen Arcade and the last of the Daddy Yanqui I am feeling ok.
I had been summoned by the Nubian lady.
maybe some day